If a girl asks me to do something for her (e.g., if they were to ask me to clean something for them, go and get something for them) I almost always never do it (unless maybe I was already planning on doing it anyway), regardless of how effortless it is, because I have this aversion to being ordered around. Also, if they ask for help with something that they are also taking part in that is going to take up quite a bit of my time (as in, something like 10 minutes to a few hours), I usually don’t do it, even if I like the person, because I don’t want to waste my time like that.
However, if they ask for help with something that they are also taking part in (e.g., helping them move something) and I like the person, and I know that is going take at most a few minutes and doesn’t require much effort on my part, I don’t mind helping them because it doesn’t take up much of my time. I know the conventional wisdom that you find everywhere online is that you should never help a girl who asks you for help, or help them but then ask for something in return, but sometimes when I do that I feel like a complete asshole. This is true even when I can tell that the girl is just testing me and doesn’t really need my help. With this one person, I get the impression that she doesn’t genuinely need my help but just asks for help with things to see if she can control me.
However, if I decide not to help them with something that will take a few minutes because I think they will become unattracted to me after I do that, does that mean that I am changing myself to make them like me, right? But on the other hand, aren’t women completely unattracted to guys who do things like this for them? I don’t know what to do.
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