Certainty

[Luke]

Hey guys,

So I’ve been reading & note-taking this weekend as I try to sort out some stuff for myself. I might have some posts or the start of a journal to share my notes soon but for now I wanted to ask some clarifying questions.

Spoiler alert- if you haven’t read the LifeOS Framework (and the other starter articles) you should probably read that now to get the full context and explanation of these points because I’m simplifying the hell out of this.

So anyway the LifeOS Framework basically says the following:

1. We’re driven to attain our desires.

2. Most people use an ineffective, externally focused method to attain their desires (Dependence).

3. Using an internally driven method of attaining desires (Independence) is a much more effective approach.

4. Ultimately all desires boil down to a core desire for Certainty.

Ok, all that mostly makes sense but here are a couple of questions:

• Independence is about tackling the barriers to your desires by focusing on the elements you control or influence (your thoughts, actions, words, decisions, etc) rather than the elements you can’t control. But does this mean you are independent of the Outcome as well? There seems to be an implied idea that you can be using Independence as a path of action, but still be Dependent on the outcome of the situation, which can obviously be frustrating/disappointing/etc as well.
• If that’s right, it seems that understanding that Certainty is ultimately what we’re looking for allows us to be Outcome Independent because we’re not trying to attain an outcome that is still outside our control but are now trying to satisfy a desire (and an outcome) that is completely within our control. In other words we can control the outcome because the positive outcome is achieved by the sheer fact of taking action, regardless of how the world responds to that action. Is that the idea?

The implied definition of Certainty is something like “knowing you can live life the way you want to now and into the future”.

So I can see how that could be a Core Desire behind other desires, even the huge desires that power religious/spiritual/political beliefs that shape peoples’ entire world views. And I can see how developing the experience of taking action with a more effective pathway would yield more and more positive feedback which, in turn, creates a greater sense of Certainty to attain the things you desire. But here’s one more question:

• On a practical level- let’s say a person desires a deeply fulfilling intimate relationship, a goal which is very much dependent on a mix of internal and external factors. How would using an Independent pathway to achieve Certainty eliminate the other challenges in attaining that outcome? Yes, it might allow you to focus on simply doing what you can do and giving you a sense of Certainty that you can take steps toward attaining your desires, but if you ‘fail’ to establish the relationship, it seems like you’ve still failed to fulfill your desire for that connection. Does that make sense?

I think that’s it for now. I’ve probably answered most of my own questions here but I thought it would be good to bounce off other people and see it from another angle.

Thanks!

Boom

Topic

[Jimmy]

As a rule of thumb.  I try to control what I can.  Sometimes my wife does things to upset me.  Sometimes I tell her not to do those things.  Sometimes she keeps doing them.  So sometimes I fulfill myself in other ways.  Sometimes she does what I want but I realize that what I wanted the whole time was something that she could never give me and by asking her to change I made it about me.  In short, feel your desires.  Where do they pull you? What do they say?  What does your pain tell you? What does your fear tell you?  What does your loneliness tell you about the people you’re with?  Generally the best way to go is just to find a sore spot and then work on that till it’s gone.  Eventually, when you look back, you’ll notice a large change.

[Leigh]

That’s a whole lot of words there, Luke.

I think I get what you mean and what you’re asking and it seems like you’re confusing the pathway with the experience.

The core desired experience is connection and the pathway you’re identifying to fulfil that desire is a deep and intimate relationship. They’re two separate elements.

Does that make sense? And does it help?

[Luke]

Haha- ok so I must have not been too clear on what the purpose of my post was, but funnily enough I was trying to summarise & simplify the LifeOS Framework article and reduce the number of words!

So I’ve been going through and summarising it for myself. It all makes sense until I get to the Core Desire section, specifically the “Why this is critical to understand” bit. That’s the exact point where it gets confusing!

So let me just go through the thought process of that section:

In Why This is Critical, Reason 3 it says that sitting below most other desires is actually a deeper desire for Certainty. Ok cool.

By realising that my real desire is actually Certainty, I can now figure out an Independent pathway to experience feelings of Certainty. Cool.

Using an Independent pathway to experience Certainty gives me a mechanism I can control (my own actions) and an outcome within my control.

Now here’s where this starts feeling like a circular mindfuck:

If I’m taking Independently based actions toward achieving a feeling of Certainty, then I start to experience Certainty because I’m taking actions that I have control over and I am in control of the actions I’m taking. Hence I can experience positive outcomes which reinforce the feeling that everything will be ok (Certainty) because I am reinforcing the feeling that I have control over my world and the ability to get what I want.

The simplest way I can describe it is that it’s a positive feedback loop.

Is that basically how it works or have I gotten lost somewhere?

Boom

[Leigh]

Crushing it. That’s exactly what I’m talking about in The Framework.

[Luke]

Sweet. So the next question I have on this is:

Do you treat Certainty as the one key desire to satisfy in life? So like- your life is built around creating a greater sense of Certainty in general, and that flows out to greater confidence in general. Then when you have a desire you want to fulfill but you’re uncertain of the outcome, your general experience of Certainty in all the other areas of your life is greater than the relatively small amount of uncertainty you’re experiencing regarding this specific desire you’re dealing with.

Is that how it works for you?

Boom

[Leigh]

The question is kind of all over the shop so I’ll try my best to answer what I think you’re asking and we can go from there.

When you have a deep sense of certainty that you can create the life you want, now and in the future, small setbacks don’t phase you because you know, through proving it to yourself over and over again, that you can find a way. When you have that level of self-belief backed by real-world experience, not much really gets under your skin.

Is that the answer you were looking for? And if not, try asking the question in a different way and I’ll try my best to answer it.

[Anonymous]

I’m confused.

Is certainty about the action or the hidden meaning.

I don’t want this hoody. I want admiration from my peers when I wear it.

Therefore I want admiration.

I see it as why you do what you do. You lift weights to get women, I lift to feel admiration when I squat heavy weights.

My take.

 

 

[Author]

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