How I feel about my life is incredibly volatile; am i not living my purpose?

[Vaom]

Does the fact that how I feel about my hobbies/work/rest of like is so volatile indicate that I’m not really doing what I actually desire? With my work, I feel that I am lucky in that what I am doing affords me a lot of freedom where I can basically do the amount of work I want and I can set my own schedule and screw around when I want.  And I end up screwing around quite a bit. I never really dislike it. Sometimes I enjoy what I’m doing. But a lot of the time I feel “meh” about it. But I’ve noticed also that how I feel about what I’m doing is often dependent on how well other things are going on in my life, such as whether I have good connections and whether a woman I like is getting on with me (not even necessarily attracted to me). When I am having good connections with people suddenly I have more motivation to engage in the work I am doing and the more I find my hobbies interesting, when both were perhaps not that interesting before.

Is the fact that how I feel about my work and hobbies so dependent on the connections in my life, how women feel about me, or how desired I am by women indicate that I’m not really living my purpose? My understanding is that if you are living your purpose, it should bring you a consistent level of constant joy regardless of what is happening with, say, whether there are women in your life. Or is it possible that I have it good and am living my purpose but I just don’t realize it?

 

Topic

[Vaom]

I also catch myself constantly over-analysing my behaviour around women and second-guessing everything I’m doing around them which leads me to believe that I can’t really be very satisfied with my life. If I was, I presume that I wouldn’t be doing this.

[Author]

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