I Need Better Friends

[Jimmy]

One thing I hear consistently throughout the world is this running gag about how hard it is to make friends as an adult. As I get older and I find myself examining exactly who I want and who I don’t want in my life.  And then I realize, my friends are kind of shit.  They flake a lot, they talk more than they deliver on their values, they don’t inspire me.  In fact, they kind of depress me really.  I want people who inspire me, people who want to go on adventures and get into trouble and break the rules. I want people who I like and like me.  Where do I find amazing people?

Topic

[Nathan]

Hi mate,

I’m *kinda* in the same boat. I’ve just moved to a completely new city, and only know my brother, his partner, and one other friend who I don’t get to see very often. It can be lonely.

The way I’m approaching this pickle, is by approaching it the same way I approached dating (haha, just stick with me here). Firstly, get clear on the kinds of people you want to hang out with. What are they like? What are their interests? Where do those people usually hang out? So for me, I love people who are creative, and also entrepreneurial. I also love people who are into health, well being and personal development

For health, wellbeing and personal development, I’m starting Yoga. I’ve always wanted to do it, and the types of guys that go there tend to be the kind of guys who are into health, wellbeing and personal development. They aren’t into the macho BS you get sometimes, which is great – neither am I.

For the creative, and entrepreneurial types, I’m literally cold emailing independent artists in the area. I found these guys through artist directories, but also who had their own gallery in town. I then picked the guys around my age and emailed them, saying I’m new in town, had a passion for art and business, and was keen to connect with likeminded people – coffee is on me.

That’s how I am approaching it. I would like to hear some ideas you come up with.

[Jimmy]

Yeah man I had a guy recommend to me some stuff.  I don’t know when I’ll get around to trying it out honestly. I have other stuff come up I have to deal with.

[Leigh]

@nathan, there’s some good stuff in there. How’s it working out for you?

[Nathan]

So far, so good. I haven’t had the chance to give it a good go just yet. But I’ve had some luck with the cold outreach. Meeting up with a dude this arvo.

Yoga hasn’t happened just yet – lack of time (moving house again – long story – and had a bunch of family things go on, so I’ve been spending a lot of time in Sydney).

Instagram has actually been a good way for me to connect with local artists…was random really. But I think that is a ripple effect from the emails and walking into galleries.

Once I’ve given everything a good go, I’ll post something up here.

[Jimmy]

Have you gone out yet?  All the coolest people I’ve ever met are in dive bars and weird places but maybe that’s because I like weird people.

I met a dude last night who moved in across the street.  We clicked and a funny story happened: I JUST bought a motorcycle (first time rider) and was flapping back and forth on the street like an idiot, trying to get the clutch to work.  He comes up and goes “Bro” grabs the throttle “you gotta give it gas like this..” and an hour later I’m riding.  A day later I’m cruising.  Later that night I’m rocketing down the woody hollow at sunset with the wind in my face and the red dusk shining through the clouds.  I ended up getting the key stuck in the gas can and we had to get it out before the storm came.  Just made it back in time, got some beers and broke some colds ones in the garage while we watched the storm.  It was … a night I haven’t had in a long time.. It was like when I was a kid.. and you just had adventures you know? You didn’t know what the fuck was going to happen.  It just happened and then you dealt with it and had fun doing it.  Wow..

I’ll post soon.  Thanks for reading.

[Leigh]

That sounds excellent, mate.

[Jimmy]

Yeah 🙂 It really was.

[Jimmy]

Also.  I feel like I’m connecting more with the AI guys now.  And the people around me.  I’m slowly taking off the dark cloud of my childhood and realizing I AM enough.

[Author]

Replies