Is the way I'm behaving making certain people more guarded?

[Vaom]

I’ve always said that I can’t stand the company of the vast majority of other people, and would rather hang by myself than these people. (When I find people I have a strong connection with and feel really good around, however, I love being around them). One of the reasons for this is that many of the people that I encounter in life are extremely guarded and don’t open themselves up and, therefore, the conversation always ends up feeling extremely forced, or it ends up being where only I share a lot of information about myself and they don’t say anything, and the conversation ends up being one-sided and therefore no real connection is made and I go away feeling empty and not feeling any better after having the conversation, and feeling like I don’t know anything more about the other person.

I understand a lot of people have learnt to become guarded on account of their past experiences or whatever. However, I’m starting to wonder whether there is some way I am behaving around certain types of people that is causing them to behave in a more guarded way. I’ve noticed in the past with some people I have got on really well with at times, there will be times where they share a lot of information about themselves and the conversation flows and there is a good connection, and yet at other times they shut the conversation down, change the subject, or try to keep the topic of conversation away from them by starting to talk about other people.

Is it possible that there is something that I am doing that is causing people to feel uneasy around me which makes them feel weird about sharing information with me and therefore causes them to behave in a guarded way?

Topic

[Jimmy]

I’ve noticed in the past with some people I have got on really well with at times, there will be times where they share a lot of information about themselves and the conversation flows and there is a good connection, and yet at other times they shut the conversation down, change the subject, or try to keep the topic of conversation away from them by starting to talk about other people.”

What is different about these moments? Begin to notice them as you’re in them.  How are you acting? How are they acting?  How was your day that day?  Is your behavior different?</span>

[Author]

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