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So, there’s this nagging question in the back of my mind about mindset and attempting to meet women. Going back to an issue I’ve always seemed to have, neediness has been quite the thorn in my side. Leigh’s first book “Endgame” was definitely effective on shedding some light on the problem, which was always trying get from people, especially women, whether that thing I was trying to get was attention, validation, sympathy, a phone number, a date, affection, whatever the case may have been. The emotional high I would, and still do, get from this validation pretty much became an addiction for me, to a degree where it has at times become crippling in my interactions with women.
So to counter this problem, I figure focusing on what I really want in life and building my “one perfect day” would be the death knell of this issue. It makes sense as this creates a shift in your mindset from always trying to “get” from people to focusing more on “doing” and living the life you want for yourself. Now, this is not without it’s challenges for me, as it kind of feels like I’m spinning my wheels in the mud. The pedal is down to the metal but I’m not going anywhere. Perhaps this neediness issue runs deeper than I thought. But back to my point.
Part of my “OPD” definitely does involve “waking up to a warm body snuggled against mine,” as Leigh puts it. Every time I envision this kind of morning for myself, I feel a deep sense of warmth, connection and satisfaction. So, meeting women in order to make this a reality for me is apparently what I should be doing in order to make it to my OPD. However, could it also be that meeting women will still put me in a “getting” mindset, as I’m still looking to “get” women, or their affection/love/attraction, in order to realize my one perfect day? Of course, it’s totally possible that I could be missing something.
In my mind, it just seems like the two options I really have are either finding a passion in my life that is not women, thus not relying on women for their attraction or having my OPD dependent on whether or not I can get something from them, but then having to almost turn my back on them and never really pursuing them to have this be my ideal day, or I could have women be a passion of mine. This would put me in a position where I can talk to them or want to get to know them but then not really solve my neediness issue, as I’m still looking to get from them.
As you can probably tell with the length of this post, there’s definitely a lot of confusion in my mind right now, but hopefully this is a necessary part of the process, and it means I’m closer than I think to figuring things out. Thanks for the info anyone can share, as it would be tremendously helpful.
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