LifeOS Academy Forums General Dating, Sex, and Relationships Really inconsistent appearance

Really inconsistent appearance

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  • #24838

    I’m making an effort to consider approaching women I want to talk to when I go about my day now. I’ve already tried talking to one and will continue to do so. This is the way I prefer – starting conversations with completely random women in random locations (e.g., on the street) because I can decide on whoever I want to talk to (within reasonable limits) rather than hoping I just happen to by chance stumble into talking into a woman I may find attractive through a more conventional way, such as through friends of friends. And I don’t have any friends anyway and don’t have any desire to go out and make any (partially because I can’t find anyone I enjoy the company of, partially because I don’t care enough). So this conventional way of meeting women would probably never amount to anything.

    However, I was hesitant to approach women in the past few years because I’ve had this problem where I have this really inconsistent appearance and don’t want to approach women in the instances where I look like a mess, because I thought it wouldn’t work if sometimes they see me I look fine and sometimes I look hideous and completely different. I used to always be really good-looking up until a few years ago where I started having weird problems where most of the time I look like a mess and only on occasion I look how I used to look. I’m pretty sure it’s some issue with water retention on account of something I’m eating or not eating (I think to do with sodium levels), or perhaps sleeping problems. And I wanted to try and fix the problem before I started talking to women again but I don’t know how to fix the problem completely and don’t think I ever will. So I don’t think I have any choice now but to just not worry about it now.

    Besides, in the moment where I could talk to a woman – yes it would be nice to look OK and it will increase my chances – but regardless if I look OK or like a mess in the vast majority of instances probably I’m never going to see the woman again anyway so it’s not like I can wait to look better because it’s highly likely I’ll never see them again.

    I just don’t really understand how a relationship would work if my appearance changes on a day-to-day basis. Maybe it would actually be in my best interests to approach women ONLY when I look like a mess because if anything happened my appearance can only improve in future instances where she sees me again and can’t get any worse. This would be a lot better than approaching her when I look OK and then looking like a mess the next time I see her.

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