The impact of parenting structure on your challenges and issues

[Leigh]

Reading a really interesting thread where women talk about what it as like to be raised by a single father: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/c1pcju/any_women_out_there_raised_by_single_dads_how_do/

It got me thinking a lot about being raised by a single mother and the impacts that had on me. I DEFINITELY repressed a lot of my masculine side when I was younger and am even now, only starting to discover some parts of it.

The other parts of my family situation that’s had a HUGE impact on me is money. We were raised super poor and I notice, even now, that I have a totally irrational tendency to try and collect as many things as I can – money, food, building supplies (even though I can’t build). I know it’s totally irrational, but there’s such a strong pull towards collecting these things.

What family dynamic were you raised in and how has it impacted you?

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[Jimmy]

I post a lot about this but my parents were good people who didn’t know how to raise ME specifically.  Even now as an adult I need a lot of care personally.  I’m very specific and have special needs and find it difficult to give those needs to myself and do it in such a way that promotes growth.  I’m very “slow”, it takes me a while to decide whether a thing is important or not and refuse to do anything I don’t like doing.  My way of dealing with this is trying to find reasons for doing things like, “think about how good this bed will feel tonight after you make it now” or “think about how nice it is to walk through a clean house and just feel the space” or “think about how nice it will be to look in the pantry and see it full of food”, which all of those things I do enjoy.  Instead of trying to work with me and understand me they gave up on me and titled me lazy and strange which bred insecurity issues and trust issues so most of my life now is spent dissolving my insecurities, so I feel like a man, working on letting myself let people in and understanding my habits and needs in such a way to live successfully.

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