what defined neediness

[Anonymous]

does the beauty queen feel comfortable to let go of the king “with ease”. Most of the men and women we meet would want to hold onto their respective girlfriend/boyfriend.

What defines neediness.

In the book ” no more mr nice guy” , the author describes “nice guy” (  aka the ” needy one” in different communities)

* the one who is willing to impress the other person at the risk of loosing one’s individuality

* the one who has issues with completing a task . Someone who takes up a task and stops it in the half way and does the same with every other task

* the one who isnt taking steps to create a good life for them

etc

if you observe the above points, the author is basically talking about someone who is unable to take proper steps to create a good life for them and someone who is unable to be  kind towards their own self.

now, Why is the person not able to create a good life, why is the person not kind with their ownself –  the news is , not many are “taught or encouraged” to create a happy or healthy life .

Sometime,  people realise that impressing is taxing and value freedom as they grow up and get exposed to different situations. Sometimes, people start taking care of their “body and mind ” once they realise the beauty that it can add to their everyday life .

Someone who valued freedom, someone who valued health, someone who valued honesty etc, might reflect the same in their conversations .

As one realises more of what they value and as they take steps to inculcate these values in their life, their way of responding to events/situation changes.

 

Topic

[Nathan]

Yo Darkmorning!

Man, I’ve been reading a lot of your posts around the forum. They are very insightful, however, I would love to hear your personal experience of these topics you are talking about. You seem to quote a lot of other authors and their opinions, however I would love to hear your insights from your own personal experiences.

Yes, the author mentioned their definition of neediness. How does this apply to you? Are you struggling with this? Or, is this something you recently overcame? I would be more interested to hear about this kind of stuff in the context of your life. Tell us your story and what you have done, or are planning to do in this area of your life. THAT would be a lot more interesting to me than simply something you read in a book – show me how you have applied it or will be applying it.

Keep on interacting on the forum. It’s great to see! I’d also love to learn more about the person behind Darkmorning.

[Anonymous]

hi Nathan 🙂

Thanks for dropping by.

I went through your comment nathan. Its nice to know that you wish to know about me.

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

 

[Anonymous]

the challenge series is along the way. It has more notes on what i do .

:):):)

[Anonymous]

When we feel needy ( desire something strongly) , lets see what we can do from our end

Lets say that we desire something from a person . so, before approaching the person, we can ensure that our communication is simple, direct and explains things easily

sometimes, we give a lot more information than stating directly what we ” feel ” right now and what “action/words” is expected out of the other person right now.

For example: lets say that “A” saw a girl and it reminded him of many things, but, overall, when he analysed what he felt , he felt that he wanted to “ be cared” . So, “A” thought about what it means to him to be “cared for” and realised that he felt “cared for” when someone showed directly that they “valued him” by “spending time with him doing things that he liked”

*So, “A” went near the girl and said to the girl :  hi, i am “A” . when i saw you , i feel “unloved “,  because, “i value the feeling that i get when i spent time with someone i like”.lol.  So, would you consider the idea of “spending some time with me in cafe”. 

There we go, when we do this, the girl will either say “yes” or “no” or  “might ask questions to clarify things further”

If the girl says “no”, it can be due to many things. so, just tell her that its okay and move on.

But!, but!, if you wish to continue exploring your feelings with the person , then  , try the following:

If its a no, then, go back to what you feel . Do you feel ” rejected or unloved.”  If yes, then , ask the girl directly:

*That’s okay , feel free to do as you wish ,because ,i value “freedom” , plus,  i just wanted to say one more thing. when you said ” no” i felt ” unloved/unworthy” , because, “ i needed some “yes from you “to feel worthy i guess ” .lol.

Then, gauge the interest level and continue the conversation or else , just move on.

*The structure of the communication

——- “object/person “- lead to a “feeling” – because, you “desire” something- with desire showing up , you can make a “request”

This form of communication clearly shows what you value and what you expect out of the other person . plus, it makes it simple for the other person to see what’s going on in you .

 

[Author]

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