[Luke]

I think the ‘turn up the volume’ concept is a bit confusing for people. I think a lot of people interpret it as a method of ‘getting’ what they want. As in: If I Turn Up the Volume enough, I’ll be more successful getting what I desire. If I just get in touch with what I truly want and THEN take action, I’ll get what I want.

I think that’s a big misunderstanding of the idea.

What will happen if you do that is, you’ll get in touch with what you desire and feel it more deeply- and then you’ll use the exact same ‘pathway’ to get that thing that you always use. Because you’ve used the same pathway, you’ll get the same results you’ve always gotten. That is, you’ll most likely fail to get what you want.

And I think that’s the confusing part because in my understanding, that’s the purpose of the exercise.

Many people seem to think that Turning Up the Volume is a way to get what they want. It’s not. Turning Up the Volume is a way of proving to yourself that if the pathway you’re currently using is ineffective, it will continue to be ineffective no matter how hard you try.

You can dwell on your desire all day, and then go out and talk to women motivated by your desires. But if the pathway you’re using is all about gaining a feeling of acceptance from women (for example) then you’re going to come across as needy, clingy, desperate, even creepy or sleazy. I can tell you I’ve been there. If you think Turning Up the Volume is somehow going to make women like you, you’re just going to be frustrated and confused because you think it’s not working.

Actually the exercise is working just fine. It’s your pathway that is the problem.

So if you’ve tried turning up the volume and you find that it’s not improving the results you’re getting, you need to start looking deeper and asking “Why do I want these results in the first place?”. More specifically “What feeling do I think these results will give me? Why do I want that feeling? Is getting this person/thing the only way I can experience that feeling or are there other ways?”.

Now you can’t do that if you’re still attached to a specific outcome- if you do, you’re just going to stay in the ‘Getting’ mindset. You’ll just use it as a way to eventually get what you want, rather than doing it because you actually want to know the answers and deal with your underlying core. You need to decide whether or not you want to actually deal with the difficult questions- Why do you get so attached to what a woman thinks of you? Why did you trash your Dad’s house? Why did you steal from your Aunt? Why are you using weed to self-medicate? Why are you still doing those kinds of things 5 years on? What are the feelings you’re seeking or running from beneath all those actions?

If you want to deal with those deeper questions, and sort them out, then you may- with probably a lot of difficult work- be able to start improving your experience of your life so that YOU can actually have a good life regardless of whether you have a woman or not.

But if you’re not ready for that, you can and will continue using the same pathway and getting the same results you’ve been getting until you get to the point that you realise you need to change, for your own sake. That’s the point of Turning Up the Volume.

Boom

[Luke]

What are you into?

Boom

[Luke]

Sweet. So the next question I have on this is:

Do you treat Certainty as the one key desire to satisfy in life? So like- your life is built around creating a greater sense of Certainty in general, and that flows out to greater confidence in general. Then when you have a desire you want to fulfill but you’re uncertain of the outcome, your general experience of Certainty in all the other areas of your life is greater than the relatively small amount of uncertainty you’re experiencing regarding this specific desire you’re dealing with.

Is that how it works for you?

Boom

[Luke]

Haha- ok so I must have not been too clear on what the purpose of my post was, but funnily enough I was trying to summarise & simplify the LifeOS Framework article and reduce the number of words!

So I’ve been going through and summarising it for myself. It all makes sense until I get to the Core Desire section, specifically the “Why this is critical to understand” bit. That’s the exact point where it gets confusing!

So let me just go through the thought process of that section:

In Why This is Critical, Reason 3 it says that sitting below most other desires is actually a deeper desire for Certainty. Ok cool.

By realising that my real desire is actually Certainty, I can now figure out an Independent pathway to experience feelings of Certainty. Cool.

Using an Independent pathway to experience Certainty gives me a mechanism I can control (my own actions) and an outcome within my control.

Now here’s where this starts feeling like a circular mindfuck:

If I’m taking Independently based actions toward achieving a feeling of Certainty, then I start to experience Certainty because I’m taking actions that I have control over and I am in control of the actions I’m taking. Hence I can experience positive outcomes which reinforce the feeling that everything will be ok (Certainty) because I am reinforcing the feeling that I have control over my world and the ability to get what I want.

The simplest way I can describe it is that it’s a positive feedback loop.

Is that basically how it works or have I gotten lost somewhere?

Boom

[Luke]

Hey Nathan- didn’t see your post until now. Thanks for the welcome man, been enjoying seeing your watercolours on insta! I think I saw that you moved a little closer than you were before so a catch up is probably more doable now yeah?

Been floating around the site here for a while now and not sure where to start really. I was thinking of jumping onto the Focus Challenge that you guys are doing this month but I was actually on a 50+ day meditation streak just recently partly using the Sam Harris app and partly unguided, and I felt like I’d plateaued with meditation.

I can sit for the 10 minutes no problem, and I can bring my focus to different sensations pretty easily (when I’m properly engaged with what I’m doing), and I didn’t know where to go next. Floor sitting (to introduce discomfort/pain) was a go-to and walking meditation was another but I probably need to sit for substantially longer periods (30 min to 1 hour on the floor) to really start challenging myself I think. But really I think the plateau is about not having a real purpose behind doing it. I started it because meditation has been part of the process in the past of me sorting through things, but with my recent meditation streak I wasn’t really dealing with anything actively alongside the meditation practice. So it was maybe like training the ability to focus, but then not really using that focus to deal with anything.

Thinking about what I wrote in the earlier post (how I feel like I’m partly living my old OPD) and how I still have a sense of dissatisfaction with myself, I feel like maybe I need to start with a new vision and use that to figure out my priorities and what I need to target here.

Boom

[Luke]

Thanks mate,

Yeah that makes sense. In order to achieve whatever goal you’ve set, you have to develop your skills/confidence/competence to get there. Once you’ve gotten to that point you’ve now expanded what you’re capable of, so if you stop there you’re not actually using your newfound potential. It makes sense that there’d be a sense of something lacking there.

With my career I’ve tried to set unattainable goals so that I always have something to keep working toward, so I should hopefully avoid that problem. And in my career I feel like I have a lot of room to grow.

And I think that’s a big part of the problem- in other areas I don’t feel like I have the same freedom to grow and reach the potential that I feel is untapped. I’ve reached a point in my life that I am happy with, but I’m also restricted by it. To put it in the classic terminology, how much certainty and connection am I prepared to sacrifice to gain a sense of freedom?

Anyway, I’m just thinking out loud here… I’ll keep an eye out for the PM.

Boom

[Author]

Replies