Practicing Detachment

[Anonymous]

How do you guys practice detachment? I have a mindfulness book with many Buddhist teachings. I reread it and saw ways of practicing detachment.

A Thia Master:

A master held a cup in front of his students and said the best way to relate to the cup is if its already broken. We use it and take care of it, but we remain unattached because we know its subject to change.

Bhavad Gita:
Act without attachment to the fruit of your action. We can do what we want with full commitment, but the outcome is often beyond our control. When we act without attachment to the outcome our minds stay peaceful no matter how things unfold.

Dalai Lama:
The value of an action is not measured by success or failure, but by the motivation behind it. When are motivations are skillful, then we abide in equanimity regardless of whether wee succeed or fail in our endeavors.

Does anyone really know what their underlining motivations are at times? It says to ask what the attitude of the mind right now (in the moment). What’s arising in your mind will determine the underlining action.

Topic

[Leigh]

There are two parts to this post that I’ll address separately.

The first is attachment.

The reason you’re attached to something is that you think it’s going to fulfil your desired experience. The way to become less attached to it is to fulfil your desired experience through a different pathway.

For example: if you’re attached to making a lot of money because you think it’s going to give you power and control, the way to become less attached to money is to find power and control through other pathways.

When you can get what you want through something else, your attachment to the thing you were using to fulfil your desired experience decreases because you need it less.

The second is knowing your motivations.

You’re going through UYC right now and that explains the core of motivations: desired experiences. That’s why you do EVERYTHING. There’s something you want and you have a target outcome and mechanism for getting it. That’s your motivation in every moment for every thought, decision, and action and the cause of every emotion.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. I understood the concept better while completing most the the practices on the website especially the self awareness challenge. So it makes better sense to fulfill my core desires daily by another medium as much as possible rather than waiting for someone else to do it.

What about the practicality of needing the specific medium: (relationships, money, a home, etc)

I don’t to be the guy living in a cave.

[Leigh]

The idea of needing a specific medium is an interesting one.

I’ve realised there are three levels of switching to more Independent pathways.

The first is moving to more Independent pathways with mediums that you’re comfortable with. This is for people just getting into these ideas and allows them to become more connected with the idea that they’re pursuing experiences.

The second is developing the ability to fulfil your desired experiences through any medium. You can find power in relationships. You can find connection through money. You can find freedom is a house. You can almost find any experience in any medium, if you understand the experiences and are really connected to the idea that you desire experiences (on an experiential level).

The third level is developing the ability to fulfil your desired experiences without any medium. This is for people who understand the concepts so thoroughly that they can create the experience you want just by directing their attention to specific elements in your world.

You can’t move to the second level without first becoming comfortable in the first. And you can’t move to the third without first becoming comfortable in the second.

So, start with the first. Then we can focus on the second and then the third.

[John]

I found the third level of detachment interesting!

[Leigh]

Yeah, it’s REALLY interesting. But, you HAVE to go through the other two stages first.

The third level is only possible once your brain is sufficiently rewired and trying to live in that world without that rewiring is INCREDIBLY challenging.

[Anonymous]

How does one practically apply it?

[Leigh]

How does one practically apply what?

[Anonymous]

“The reason you’re attached to something is that you think it’s going to fulfil your desired experience. The way to become less attached to it is to fulfil your desired experience through a different pathway.”

If turning up the volume is making your subconscious realize that my pathway is faulty how do I fulfill my desired experience through a different pathway?

[Leigh]

That’s a good question, and literally the content of Uncover Your Core. Finish that first and you’ll see the answer.

[Author]

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