to the listening heart

[Anonymous]

I just wish to talk with someone while watching the skies. I wish to run away from my past.

I feel like going to a place , where, i can just sit and meditate for long long hours, until the pain in me fades away.

I just used the pocket money that my dad gave me on a prostitute. I have been hiring prostitutes for some months.

I don’t see it as an addiction, rather , I see it as poor capacity to make good choices.

I hate life , but, i am tired to say anything.

I just need a big break from everything. My parents joined me to a german class , so that, I can learn german language and do masters in germany.

I dont know how to tell them that i need a break. I am 25 and i dont know how am i going to survive if i take a break , But, I am messed emotionally and i need some months with myself.

long back, i used downloaded logun’s books. I didnt have cash ,so, I downloaded it in other ways. The book was a blessing . I used to feel peaceful while reading end game.

I came to this forum,so that, i could do something back, but, sadly I am still a mess. But, i dont want to exactly see myself as a mess, its just that, i dont have enough acceptance, patience, discipline and a proper vision.

A boat with no destination might land on any land. The same is with me, with no proper vision and discipline, I spend my energy on anything that stirs my mind and senses.

For now, I am filled with regret, shame, sadness, etc.

this initial time is just hard, I cant wait for the days to become better.

 

Topic

[Leigh]

I’m really glad to hear you found peace in Endgame. And I’m sorry to hear you’re filled with shame and regret now.

Are you comfortable sharing what you feel shame and regret about now?

And what was it Endgame that made you feel peaceful?

There may be a clue in there about where to go next.

[Anonymous]

Leigh, mostly , I feel sad, low.

I feel that life is like a colloseum camp,where, one has to fight to live .

I wanted to be a healer, shaman, explore consciousness etc .

In endgame, the idea was to approach life in a holistic way. The idea of trying to live a life which is true to one, was nice.
I don’t like working in jobs or for the corporates which are destroying the planet

I don’t know what else to do .

[Leigh]

What are you fighting?

[Anonymous]

Fight = work in a job, to make a living .

I read how the elites are trying to depopulate, polluting the food , created a controlling economic system etc

This did seem bad, so, I didn’t want to contribute to their system .

Sometimes, it makes me wonder If life is really this bad .with many being treated like a slave .

I didn’t want to live life like a slave .I need more time for things that matter too( like more time with self , creating more meaningful relationship etc)
So, mostly, I don’t want to spend all the time making money ………

[Ashley]

Anonymous wrote:

“I read how the elites are trying to depopulate, polluting the food , created a controlling economic system etc This did seem bad, so, I didn’t want to contribute to their system.”

Can You control this?
So what can You do that aligns with Your core values?
– Can You choose a path that is more giving and in alignment with Your values?
– Can You share information with others and inspire them through the way You live Your life?
What would You like to do?
(You mentioned Healer, Shaman, Working with Consciousness – have You explored these?)

“Sometimes, it makes me wonder If life is really this bad .with many being treated like a slave . I didn’t want to live life like a slave .I need more time for things that matter too( like more time with self , creating more meaningful relationship etc) So, mostly, I don’t want to spend all the time making money ………”

This is similar to Ashley 1.0’s experience. Feeling lost, trapped and disillusioned with the 9 to 5, the selfishness of people to get what they want at the expense of Others, the lack of care for the planet and Other people through feeding misinformation on food and nutrition etc.

Did this focus serve Me, or help to wake Me up and kick My butt into gear?

Where is Your focus?
– Is it on what Others are doing, or on what You can do?

What can You do for You for You that is giving You time and nourishes Your future growth to being free of the trading all of Your time for money scenario?
– What can You start doing now that You would love to do and could be a source of income in the future while being in alignment with Your values?

Take Your time to work through some of these questions and continue to explore and identify what You feel. Don’t judge what comes up, just observe it and follow Your Highest Excitement.

[Ashley]

Anonymous wrote:

“I read how the elites are trying to depopulate, polluting the food , created a controlling economic system etc This did seem bad, so, I didn’t want to contribute to their system.”

Can You control this?
So what can You do that aligns with Your core values?
– Can You choose a path that is more giving and in alignment with Your values?
– Can You share information with others and inspire them through the way You live Your life?
What would You like to do?
(You mentioned Healer, Shaman, Working with Consciousness – have You explored these?)

“Sometimes, it makes me wonder If life is really this bad .with many being treated like a slave . I didn’t want to live life like a slave .I need more time for things that matter too( like more time with self , creating more meaningful relationship etc) So, mostly, I don’t want to spend all the time making money ………”

This is similar to Ashley 1.0’s experience. Feeling lost, trapped and disillusioned with the 9 to 5, the selfishness of people to get what they want at the expense of Others, the lack of care for the planet and Other people through feeding misinformation on food and nutrition etc.

Did this focus serve Me, or help to wake Me up and kick My butt into gear?

Where is Your focus?
– Is it on what Others are doing, or on what You can do?

What can You do for You for You that is giving You time and nourishes Your future growth to being free of the trading all of Your time for money scenario?
– What can You start doing now that You would love to do and could be a source of income in the future while being in alignment with Your values?

Take Your time to work through some of these questions and continue to explore and identify what You feel. Don’t judge what comes up, just observe it and follow Your Highest Excitement.

[Author]

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