[Nathan]

Jimmy wrote:

I’m so scared

Good to know you are human 🙂

Edit: Lol at the giant smiley, or is that just my browser?

[Nathan]

Sweet. Looking forward to see what the journey has in store for you! Good luck.

[Nathan]

So far, so good. I haven’t had the chance to give it a good go just yet. But I’ve had some luck with the cold outreach. Meeting up with a dude this arvo.

Yoga hasn’t happened just yet – lack of time (moving house again – long story – and had a bunch of family things go on, so I’ve been spending a lot of time in Sydney).

Instagram has actually been a good way for me to connect with local artists…was random really. But I think that is a ripple effect from the emails and walking into galleries.

Once I’ve given everything a good go, I’ll post something up here.

[Nathan]

Hi mate,

I’m *kinda* in the same boat. I’ve just moved to a completely new city, and only know my brother, his partner, and one other friend who I don’t get to see very often. It can be lonely.

The way I’m approaching this pickle, is by approaching it the same way I approached dating (haha, just stick with me here). Firstly, get clear on the kinds of people you want to hang out with. What are they like? What are their interests? Where do those people usually hang out? So for me, I love people who are creative, and also entrepreneurial. I also love people who are into health, well being and personal development

For health, wellbeing and personal development, I’m starting Yoga. I’ve always wanted to do it, and the types of guys that go there tend to be the kind of guys who are into health, wellbeing and personal development. They aren’t into the macho BS you get sometimes, which is great – neither am I.

For the creative, and entrepreneurial types, I’m literally cold emailing independent artists in the area. I found these guys through artist directories, but also who had their own gallery in town. I then picked the guys around my age and emailed them, saying I’m new in town, had a passion for art and business, and was keen to connect with likeminded people – coffee is on me.

That’s how I am approaching it. I would like to hear some ideas you come up with.

[Nathan]

Yeah, Sales can be weird like that.

Keep us posted. 😀

 

[Nathan]

Does that help you at all?

[Nathan]

Done way too much sales in my life. Both through running my own business and in different marketing and sales roles.

There are two ways to approach sales in my eyes.

• Try sell someone something.
• Give them a solution to their needs.

I personally like the second one. Here’s why:

Firstly, it something I can align on emotionally. I love helping people. Approaching sales as a way to get into their world and find the best solution to their needs makes me feel good at the end of the day. I hate trying to sell something to someone, particularly if I’m not even sure its something they need.

If I were in car sales, I would find out what they are looking for. They might have a specific car in mind or just some general things they want. If they had a specific car I would want to know what it is about that car that peaked their interested. Find out what is important to them in a car, what they would be using it for and what they couldn’t give a shit about. Ask questions about them, their lifestyle, their expectation in a car and listen.

Learn the difference between features and benefits. Features is the fact that a car has a role cage, a benefit is knowing that your family will be safer if you decide to go drive rally cross together and roll the car. Find out what is important to them, and educate them how specific features can benefit that specific person…

Don’t be afraid to test the waters. Make a suggestion and see how they react. If they say no, thats ok, find out why they objected. It could be you haven’t found the right solution to what they need, so dig a little deeper.

And let’s be honest, Sales takes time to get right. Things like understanding the customer and recognising how they related to different products takes time and experience. Understanding the product yourself can also be a time commitment too.

Dude, its been 2 weeks. Go easy on yourself. When you are not with a customer, listen in to how the other salespeople are doing it. Talk to them, pick their brains. If you like the way a particularly salesperson approaches it, ask them to be a mentor of your, and ask them to listen in to your conversations with clients. That feedback will be immeasurable.

And that discomfort is a sign of growth. Man, if you can master sales, the skills you get out in the real world such as being with people no matter how they are and willing to make (sometimes bold) requests, is really handy.

[Nathan]

My experience with this, is if you compliment them on something they have control over, that makes a bigger impact. Whether it is their looks, or something they have done, look at what they had a choice over, and compliment on their choice.

For example, if where to compliment a woman on their choice of shoes, their sense of style, or something new they did with their hair, then that would have more impact than saying “you’re beautiful”.

If you know they made a conscious choice to do something, then compliment them on that specific thing. Saying, “I admire the guts it took to confront that person, well done”, is a lot more inspiring that saying “you are inspiring, I could never have done that.”.

My wife loves to cook. I could say, “I love your cooking”, and she would appreciate it. But if I was to be specific and say “What is that extra spice you added? That lingering flavour is sooo good”, she would beam.

Even saying I love you. If you want your partner to feel extra special. Be specific and tell them what you love in particularly about them.

And compliment on things you know are important to them. For example, my wife adores our dogs, and takes pride in their training. I compliment her on it all the time (our dogs are freaking better trained them me!). Particularly if I noticed little things she had incorporated into their training. If I can see improvements, or things I can see working, I compliment her on that choice all the time.

Oh, and lastly, mean the compliments. Woman can smell BS a mile away.

[Nathan]

Yeah man, all the time. I’m not a huge nightclub person, but I’ve been to plenty of parties where the only person I knew was whoever invited me.

• I actually like going to cafes alone and read.
• I’ve gone to the movies by myself to see some weird obscure movie that none of my friends were interested in seeing.
• I’ve gone to plenty of meetups by myself.

I’ve just moved to a new city myself, and I’m out and about checking new places, sometimes with my wife, but often times just by myself.

And as a result I’ve met heaps of people.

It can be nervous at first. I remember thinking, “Oh, I’m by myself people will think I’m weird.” What I learnt was not to focus on that. In fact, no-one really cares if you are alone for the most part (in fact, most people I’ve spoken to, think its more ballsy, than weird). But I don’t really focus on that any more.

If I’m feeling those nerves for when I’m going somewhere, I also set a tiny goal. For example, I went to a new life drawing class last week – alone. I was nervous, and made a goal of introducing myself to 3 people. When I go to parties alone, I always make sure to introduce myself to the first person I see. I have a little question in my head “how many interesting people will I meet tonight? Let’s find out”.

If I’m going to a place, purely for my own enjoyment, I focus on how much I can enjoy it. Eg. Going to a cafe to read, or bushwalking by myself, or seeing that movie. My enjoyment is purely based on me and my desires in those moments.

Oh, and moving to a new city is a blessing when meeting new people. Just saying you are new to the city during a conversation will allow people to play “tour guide” and tell you all the best spots. If they are a cool person, you could always ask if they could take you there the next weekend.

Once you get past being self conscious of being alone, it can be a TON of fun.

 

[Nathan]

So I was asked a great question by @Jimmy within a series of PMs we had been sending each other. He asked:

Is there anything right now in your life that you’re having difficulty handling?

We yes, yes there is.

• Overwhelmed with the job.
• Frustration with finances.
• Wife’s injury and ongoing chronic pain.

Whilst I know that I can handle all of them. I also know that I can handle them better.

Right now if I had to sum up how I feel, its like a can’t get a break. While logically, I can see that I’m a lot better financially that I was a month ago, and I’m slowly getting a hang of the job, there is still a large ass gap between where I am now, and where I want to be. I’m kind of caught up in that headspace.

So let’s delve a little deeper.

New Job

What has been frustrating about this is they have thrown me into this role, with a vague sense of what they want me to do, and said Go! Unfortunately, there is no clear goal or target. Which is really frustrating me. I’ll be organising a meeting with the director to get some clarity, but there is still a lot to do. We will see. I will try lock down a weekly, or fortnightly meeting with him to make sure I’m on track. I think that will help.

The other thing that has frustrated me is they wanted me to take on a particular client project. It is a more complex project, which is why they wanted me to take it on. To be honest, I’m comfortable taking on the project, I’ve done similar things before, however, there is a twist to how they usually do things which has really made things difficult.

<rant>

Firstly, the client is a friend of one of the senior staff at the company I’m working for. The staff member has taken it on themselves to essentially be the project manager (which is what I do), however, she has never done digital marketing before (she was originally a web developer). What this has resulted in is bunch of miscommunication, and frustration for both me and the client. I’m pissed because its my first project I’ve been a part of and I’ve been made to look incompetent at no fault of my own. Its also put a bad taste in the clients mouth. I resolved the issue by contacting the client directly, getting clear on what they actual wanted and getting it to them asap (turned out to be a 30 minute job instead of the hours I originally put in). Anyways, its resolved for now and I will be vigilant in make sure what I do is actually what the client wants. Sigh.

</rant>

So yeah, its been a bumpy first week or two, but I’m slowly pushing forward. The morning pages mentioned in my previous posts have helped a ton and allowed me to have a clearer head around things.

Finances

So I’m in a bit of debt. About 9K. It’s not much compared to others, however, I hate being in debt. I had planned to pay off about 1K this week, however, random medical expenses came up, so that didn’t happen. It’s no big deal, but the frustration and feeling of not getting ahead has crept in. A big pain in the arse. Had a good conversation with the wife, and we have a rough plan around budgeting and getting some extra income in the door. However, to add to it, the landlords being a pain, and not allowing us a room mate (we have a spare room thats not be used). That would get us a solid couple of hundred dollars a month extra coming in. We are keeping at it though.

Wife’s chronic pain.

This is something we have been dealing with for the last 4 years, but it’s worth mentioning. It’s always on our mind. We are slowly getting towards a conclusion with this, and seeing a doctor next week regarding surgery. The new nerve pain medication is working so far with no side affects. So thats a win. But this is something that has hindered our lifestyle, and put a holt on some of our goals for the last couple of years. I will be happy once it has been resolved and we can fuck it right off.

So yeah, I’m in the moras right now, but I’m slooooowly pushing forward. And thats the important part of me. No matter what, so long as I’m pushing forward things will be resolved.

The other thing is to push forward towards the One Perfect Day. I’ve set three years for that. I’m going to start making pointed actions in the near future to get closer to it.

Alrighty I’m out. C&Cs are always welcome.

Nat

 

[Author]

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